Asking the Right Questions

I truly believe that one of the most important keys in life is learning to ask the right questions. When I run across one of those 'questions' somewhere, they are like a solid brick wall stopping me abruptly in my path. I had one of those experiences today on Facebook.

A picture posted by Sketches in Stillness posed the following question:

Do you consider yourself a problem to be fixed...Or can you allow yourself to be exactly as you are right now, in peace, without believing in your stressful thoughts?

This was one of those "seeing what you really believe about yourself" moments for me. I realized that is exactly how I see myself and this belief directs a large portion of my life.

So then, the question for me becomes where's the balance between recognizing that you need improvement in some area and pursuing that purposefully and diligently, and, pushing yourself to change to the point that the stress you cause yourself becomes harmful to you physically, mentally, and emotionally?

And how does that affect what you believe others think of you or how they 'see' you, thereby causing you to act in ways that may not be good for you or anyone else? In other words, if anyone sees theirself as broken and needing to be fixed, they usually automatically assume that others see them the same way. We tend to think that others think the same way we do, although experience often proves that assumption to be false. That's just one of those traits that all of humanity shares.

How far do I believe that I differ from 'normal' or 'average'? And where am I getting my definition of those terms?

Most of us don't really know what we believe deep down inside and would be hard-pressed to define those beliefs if we had to. More often than not, our actions don't line up with what we say we believe, for if they did, we wouldn't struggle so within ourselves. It wouldn't be so hard to change habits, most of which we don't even recognize as habits in the first place. Usually we just think 'that's the way I've always done it,' or 'that's the way I was taught', or that's how my parents did it.' Or we fool ourselves into thinking we do things the way we do because that's just what we want to do.

It's too much work, and often too fearful or painful, to face the person within. We're afraid we won't like the person within, and most times that really is the truth. Truly not liking yourself, or hating yourself, is the ultimate rejection, a very scary place to be.

I have knowingly been close enough to that place to know I don't want to go there again, which brings me back to the original question of whether I see myself as a problem to be fixed. Maybe the emotional impact of that experience is what has made that question so real to me. And that is not necessarily a negative thing.

Obviously, the answers to these questions will be unique for each person as we are all individuals with different experiences, etc. But I wonder how many others are so affected by this question? I'm sure I'll never know but that doesn't stop me from wondering. It's the philosophical part of my nature I think.

What is a question that has truly impacted your life? I would love to hear from you.