My Ugly Little Secret Exposed By an Ad in an Outdated Magazine!

I drew this guy a number of years ago. Turns out
he is a personal archetype since his expression
fits a number of different emotions and I have
used him repeatedly in various artworks. He's taught
me a lot about myself and the human condition over
 the years. The original was a charcoal drawing
which I used in a mixed media collage.

I was at my eye doctor appointment. The assistant had just put those numbing eye drops in my eyes and I had 10 minutes to do something with, so I grabbed a three year old magazine to look through to occupy my waiting time. As I was thumbing through the pages I ran across an ad for what looked to be a reading app for e-readers. I don't remember the exact lead line except that it had to do with binge reading becoming the new thing. It made me laugh. And then, the light bulb flashed on in my mind!

I recognized that I am a binge reader and have been for many years. In fact, I am currently on a reading binge—just finished re-reading Clan of the Cave Bear and am halfway through The Valley of Horses, both by Jean M. Auel. I have known that I often read as a form of escapism, but when did it become bingeing?

Looking back over the years I recognized that I have had these reading binges scattered throughout my life. Escapism is something we all do from time to time and has some very positive connotations, however, when it becomes something that is difficult to control and interferes with taking care of normal everyday functions that we all need to carry out, then something is out of balance. On some level I had already recognized this imbalance that was exacerbated by depression from a long winter, but had not put the pieces of the puzzle together. Putting the label of 'bingeing' on my out-of-control reading habits suddenly catapulted me into a whole different perspective. I discovered that over the years I have taken occasional escapist reading and turned it into binge reading that feeds the procrastination I frequently fall into. Ouch!

The truth be told, I have been bingeing in different areas all through my life, not recognizing that bingeing applies to so much more than just food. I binge when doing art or writing, sometimes when consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes, when dieting or exercising, and even when cleaning or rearranging the house. OMG! Who knew?! Where does escapism or even passion and enthusiam for something turn into bingeing? Yikes!

Is spring cleaning a form of bingeing? Is gardening? Or lawn manicuring? Or any other hobby? Can you binge on religion, family, work, pleasure? And what about thinking? Is it possible to binge think? Is that what "overthinking" is? Can abstinence also become a binge thing? When and how did all of this bingeing take over my life? How did I get so out of control? And just as important, what do I now do with this unwanted information?

I like reading and art and writing and spring cleaning. I study everything from anthropology to applied psychology and neuro-psychology to cell biology (thanks to my tenth grade biology teacher, Mr. Wilson, by the way) to quantum physics. I'm interested in emotional intelligence, culture and sociology, suffering, and the cyclic nature of life along with all that escapist reading I do. That's only a partial interest list. I have a real 'liberal arts' mentality when it comes to learning, which is my true life's passion. I am so glad that anything and everything falls into the purview of the school of life. Curiosity and creativity are divine gifts no matter what area we apply them to.

Maybe the answer to all of this, if there is one, is finding and pursuing balance in all things, which I find is often easier said than done. It helps to remember that life is highly complex and, despite all our advanced knowledge, it is still a mystery, and don't we all love a good mystery? Life really is a journey made up of a plethora of processes, where balance is a fluid thing by nature and necessity, and there is a time and season for everything under the sun. It also helps to realize that life isn't all about the answers. As often as not, life is about the questions. Did you know that doing a search on questions at Amazon brings up 101 pages of books on the subject of questions? That's a lot of books! How in the world will I ever find the time?

Pendulums swing widely at first on their journey to balance, affected by outside influences, many over which we have little to no control. We are the pendulum in our lives always coming back to a state of equilibrium, at least that's my understanding of physics at its most basic level. Everything is energy which is neither created nor destroyed, merely changing form like water going from solid to liquid to gaseous depending upon outside circumstances.

In writing this article, I hope I have caused you to be aware of and spend some of your precious time exploring the mystery of bingeing, of how it does or doesn't apply to you. Maybe, having experienced it myself and sharing my current understanding with you, I can justify all that bingeing I've been doing over the years, putting a more positive spin on it, turning my negative into a positive. I believe that is called making the best of something, but it could just be rationalizing....

 Either way, it is all going to be okay in the end. I truly believe that.

Phew!! I really needed to hear that. Maybe you did, too.

Feel free to comment below.

Living the Creative Life

I was recently making a list of the benefits I have found in my own life concerning art and intentionally living a creative life on a day to day basis. The plan is to write a book illustrated with my own art to leave for my children and grandchildren in hopes that the things I have learned over the years will be made available to them and help them throughout their own lives. The list started out as a rationale to show others the benefits that the tools of art and creativity bring to the human condition. I was stunned with where this all went.

In this article I want to give an example of the scope that living the creative life can bring to anyone willing to pursue this path. The avenue that creativity takes in my life happens to be art, but creativity is part and parcel of life in general. The particular method of expression I use most is collage. Below is a picture I did 28 years ago. I titled it "The Cycle of Life."

The History

I was doing my student teaching to finish out my art education degree at the time. One of the projects I had for my class was to do marbling and then use that marbling as the beginning point for a collage. I did this picture as my example.

I did not have a theme for the collage. I just started putting images together that seemed to fit, that felt right to me at the time. In the end I saw that it seemed to depict the cycle of life, hence, the title. It is only now, twenty-eight years later, that I have come to see how I operated on my intuition in the execution of this work, and, in fact, all my art. I have intentionally been developing the skill of listening to my inner self, learning to trust the process and my subconscious, and using quotes, images, and colors that speak to me at the time. While the particular piece I am showcasing here does not include a written quote, my artwork always has a message usually intended for myself. It seems to speak to others as well. That others "get" my art is a side benefit and a lovely gift.

The Benefits

What is beneficial is a personal thing. What may be beneficial to some may not be beneficial to others. The really important thing in my mind is recognizing that very few things in life are absolute. That they are in fact subject to change (metamorphosis), which is a constant factor in growth of any kind, including what we think we know. The few things I chose to list here are what I have found to be basic foundational benefits to me at this point in my life and may be of possible benefit to others. These things are in a constant state of evolution in my own life. I do not expect others to think as I do. My hope in sharing is to inspire thoughtful consideration, not to make others see or understand what I think I see and understand. You are not me, nor am I you. Sharing a few things that have proven beneficial for me to know and understand is one way of doing what I can to serve others.

I have struggled for years with thinking that I need to do art that "sells"—that is, art that pleases others—while being plagued with an attitude of perfectionism. One of the many benefits for me of living the creative life is recognizing that perfectionism is a cruel taskmaster that chains you in the dungeon of "you're not good enough" and "you'll never be good enough, so why bother." An attitude of perfectionism sows self-doubt and lack of worthiness. One's worth and value have nothing to do with being perfect in word or deed. I have value because I exist. I am. That is sufficient.

For me, art is all about the message and sharing that in the most efficient way possible. It is my contribution to mankind. The wisdom expressed in each work is not 'new,' but merely my interpretation of priceless truths that I want to get deep down into my own soul. Self-discovery is the main aim I strive for. Being able to share it with others is a perk.

Discovering 'self' is a major benefit of art and creativity, out of which flows every other benefit. Consistent self-examination expressed through creative endeavors—that is living a creative life—helps me to understand and reshape my view of life, from the small, seemingly unimportant likes and dislikes I have, to contemplating the universe and a Creator who made it all. The human ability and desire to be creative and live a creative life gives purpose and meaning to existence.

Through the creative process I have learned that the purpose of life is about connectedness and relationships. The relationship with one's self determines how other relationships will be throughout life. In believing this, I place self-discovery at the top of my list of needs and priorities.

Everything overlaps. Lessons are learned in pieces and at progressive levels. Regularly looking back is necessary to understanding what you know, for gaining a broader perspective of your life in general, and seeing how far you have progressed up the spiral of learning and growing. I have found it impossible to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself. For me creativity has become a major tool and vehicle for the practical application of these truths to my life, helping me to come out of an often self-centered isolationist mentality.

This brings me to my current interpretative understanding of "The Cycle of Life," which will not necessarily be what others will get out of it. That's okay. I am using it here to showcase how the subconscious mind is constantly at work in the background and how we need to learn to recognize it and trust it. It fascinated me to discover that everything I think I understand about this picture was hidden in my subconscious mind years ago, waiting for me to gain the experience and understanding to be able to interpret the greater depths of the message through the images. In other words I knew all of this 28 years ago when I put the images together, but was unable to put any of it into words at a conscious level. The subconscious speaks through images. We interpret the images through the screens of our current conscious understanding. Thus, the importance of regularly looking back to find the hidden meaning in the images of our own artwork and creativity.

Images are the native language of the imagination. - Brent Eviston

 

The potential for healing that comes through creativity and self-discovery is powerful. Albert Schweitzer is quoted as saying that 'all healing is self-healing.' I have come to understand the truth of that statement. The gifts of creativity and art are tools available to everyone for self-discovery, healing, learning, and living life to its fullest. Accessing them requires letting go of perfectionism and regularly exercising courage to look inside and face one's self.

'The Cycle of Life' recently was hung in a local gallery. At the opening reception I was fascinated by other people's interpretations of my artwork. For this particular piece, in trying to understand the intended meaning, one woman wanted to know the biblical references I had in mind when I did the work. My answer: none. Even though the showing was only a couple of months ago, I, myself, could not have put into words at that time what is written here about the effects of the subconscious and intuition on my creative expression. Being able to explain this to her might have been of help in her desire to process and understand what she was seeing, enabling her to fit it into her own personal framework of understanding. That she spent so long studying the piece meant it was impacting her deeply on some level. That kind of impact and interest is extremely gratifying to me on several levels.
Much of what I've written here is fresh revelation for me, and a huge benefit of living creatively. I love that. So, after hearing other's comments and gaining some new personal experiences recently, below is what I personally have progressively come to see in the images, color, and placement within this picture 28 years after its creation.

The Interpretation

The title states the most obvious theme of this work, denoting birth on through to death. Most people seem to get that easily enough. However, making the effort to interpret art implies taking the time to really look at a piece, thinking about what the individual images, composition, and color meant to the artist, and what it might mean to the viewer. Examining one's own internal emotional reaction would seem to be the next obvious step. People are only drawn to art that evokes an emotional response of some sort. The more intense the emotional reaction generated, the more drawn we are like steel to a magnet. As an artist one of my desires is to evoke a strong emotional response that will lead the person into thinking more deeply about the meaning of the work, asking themselves why it resonates within them, and thus encouraging their own self-discovery process.

The woman on the left looks like she is in distress from the birthing. This can refer to actually giving physical birth, but also, birthing one's emotional and mental self. The child could also denote one's continued mortality in this world, the continuation of the generations. The mushroom above her denotes darkness. Some types of mushrooms grow in the dark. Darkness to me means ignorance, unknowing. Life is all about learning and growing, coming out of the darkness of not knowing, into the light of knowing and wisdom. The figure on top of the mushroom looks both young and old to me. Young could denote being watched over by peers, etc., while old could mean a spiritual being who is connected to us via the mushroom. We grow in the dark, so to speak, but there is someone taking an interest in our growth. We are not alone in the pain and suffering that so often accompanies the growth process.

The woman who appears to almost be drowning in a whirlpool is indicative of many of the hard things we go through during a lifetime, seeming barely able to keep our head above the water. The butterfly with a woman's face speaks of hope through metamorphosis during the growth process. Something to think about: the caterpillar builds its own chrysalis around itself to protect itself during the actual process of change. Given that I believe we are basically the sum total of the choices we make throughout all the experiences of our life, we, like the caterpillar, make our own chrysalis, our own vehicle for change, many times over during a lifetime.

Then there is the old one on his deathbed. The hands on the left and right seem to be turning the pages of life. The marbled pages speak of the blend of darkness and light and the chaos that we experience in the learning process. The moon sheds a certain amount of light over all. We are not in complete darkness. The moon also speaks of cycles and seasons. The old one on the deathbed seems to be reviewing important memories of his life, seeing the connections and relationships as the winter of his life is coming to a close. The green has the connotation of life and growth.

This is a shortened version. Any of these possible interpretations could be taken to whole other levels of understanding, but I'll leave that for those willing to go there.

I value your comments. Please feel free to comment below on what you see in this work or email me at susanfree@yahoo.com and put 'Re: creative living' in the subject line.

For the sake of pleasing my patient husband who is concerned with commerce, you can order prints, etc., of this and other works here.

The following quotes are by Albert Schweitzer.

As soon as a man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.

I have always held firmly to the thought that each one of us can do a little to bring some portion of misery to an end.

The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.

A man can do only what he can do. But if he does that each day he can sleep at night and do it again the next day.

We cannot possibly let ourselves get frozen into regarding everyone we do not know as an absolute stranger.

Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being to those who are on the road with you, and accept as something precious what comes back to you from them.

Coming Out of the Closet of Fear

Coming Out, Mixed Media, 10.875" x 13.75"

I ran across a video on YouTube the other day of Ash Beckham speaking at a TED talk in Boulder, CO, that inspired the artwork for this week's blog.

Ash said this:

I'm going to talk to you tonight about coming out of the closet. And not in the traditional sense, not the gay closet. I think we all have closets. Your closet may be telling someone you love her for the first time. Or telling someone that your pregnant. Or telling someone you have cancer. Or any other of the hard conversations we have throughout our lives. All a closet is is a hard conversation. Although our topics may vary tremendously, the experience of being in and coming out of the closet is universal. It is scary and we hate it and it needs to be done. 

 

 My interpretation of that talk is that all closets of the mind are closets of fear. In my mind's eye I saw a closet with a partially open door and someone peeking out of the darkness, building up the courage to step out--a profound and difficult place to be in any hard situation.

I believe we all need to give ourselves a well-deserved pat on the back for every time we open the closet door in our mind, stepping out in an act of vulnerability and brave courageousness. We are brave. We are courageous. And we need to recognize that about ourselves.

Living in a Paper Doll World

15.5" x 12.375" Mixed Media Collage

I did this collage to show the struggles and hard work of living life, but it still needed something. As I was going through my stash of collage stuff, I ran across a paper doll that I had printed from Pinterest and it just seemed to fit. It wasn't until several days later, as I was questioning my choice to add it to the picture, that I realized what my subconscious was telling me. Life is a fantasy paper doll world.

I remember when I was younger, how "McCall's" magazine always had a page of paper dolls for kids that I would carefully cut out. I looked forward to each issue eagerly. Those paper dolls spoke of better things to me, happier times, a kinder world. Those paper dolls had an innocence underlined by a subtle direction of thought that guided my young mind.

 This morning I ran across an article about British writer Jeanette Winterson on Maria Popova's Brain Pickings.  The article was titled: "Jeanette Winterson on Time, Languange, Reading, and How Art Creates a Sanctified Space for the Human Spirit," which quotes a book co-authored by Winterton and Canadian broadcaster, Eleanor Wachtel. In it Popova writes:

...Echoing Henry Miller’s memorable assertion that "all is creation, all is change, all is flux, all is metamorphosis,"  [Winterson] adds:
Art forms must always change… You cannot stop in art, you cannot fossilize art in a redundant form, and you cannot take a point in history and favor it above any other point and say, ah yes, this is the way to do it....Readers, I think, are more sophisticated on the whole than critics. They can make the jumps, they can make imaginative leaps. If your structure is firm and solid enough, however strange, however unusual, they will be able to follow it. They will climb with you to the most unlikely places if they trust you, if the words give them the right footholds, the right handholds. That’s what I want my readers to do: I want them to come with me when we’re going mountain-climbing. This isn’t a walk through a theme park. This is some dangerous place that neither of us has been before, and I hope that by traveling there first, I can encourage the reader to come with me and that we will make the trip again together, and safely.

..."the artifice of language and its limitations,"
Yes, it is artificial, but it is, as yet, the best way human beings have found to communicate to one another their deepest, their most difficult, feelings. And that is the preserve of poetry and of true fiction, to put roots down through the surface into the subsoil of the human heart and to draw up those elements that would otherwise lie locked there, unheard, unspoken, perhaps unregarded. Language can do that, and I think that it is the duty of the writer to go on pushing language forward because if it’s not developing, if it’s not growing, if people aren’t using it in unique and different ways while at the same time regarding its tradition, then that language is going to start atrophying.
...For me, language is a freedom. As soon as you have found the words with which to express something, you are no longer incoherent, you are no longer trapped by your own emotions, by your own experiences; you can describe them, you can tell them, you can bring them out of yourself and give them to somebody else. That is an enormously liberating experience, and it worries me that more and more people are learning not to use language; they’re giving in to the banalities of the television media and shrinking their vocabulary, shrinking their own way of using this fabulous tool that human beings have refined over so many centuries into this extremely sensitive instrument. I don’t want to make it crude, I don’t want to make it into shopping-list language, I don’t want to make it into simply an exchange of information: I want to make it into the subtle, emotional, intellectual, freeing thing that it is and that it can be.

 ...[For the artist] it is a question of always going back and uncovering what is already there because the artist is something of a dredger: you have to let down your net and pull up things from the mud, from the silt, that are unrecognizable, that have been forgotten, that have lain disused and ignored for a long time. You bring them up and you clean them off and you look at them and you bring them back into the present where they can speak, where they have a place. I think it’s a dual role of dredging and of cleaning, but then also of re-creating so that you are always offering something that is right for your own time, that is new in itself.

 ...To learn how to heal yourself seems to me to be the most important thing that you can do because at that moment you are genuinely self-reliant, and if other people hurt you — as they will — it won’t matter because you have now in your own hands the tools of healing.

...I can see no reason to be bound by chronological time. As far as we know, the universe is not bound by it; as far as we know, it is yet another construct of ours, this worship of the clock and the idea that there is a past and a present and a future which trot along obediently in line and never swap places. In our own lives we know that that’s not true because human beings seem capable of moving imaginatively, backwards and forwards, of pushing out of the body. I think of it really as an out-of-the-body experience — that’s not something that only shamans and New Age hippies have. It’s something that we all have quite often in our lives. And I wanted to bring that into fiction because it seems to me to be a more honest reality than the rather dull reality of the clock.

...The journey that you make is not one of the clock: it’s an interior one, and in it you travel through time, through space, through place.
 
Winterson's views seemed to fit in with what this picture seems to be saying to me, or more accurately, what my subconscious was trying to say through my art. Words and pictures are intertwined for me and this is expressed in all my collages.

Everything is connected according to current quantum theory. We are what we think. Really. The reality of life begins in the mind, and, as Winterson says:

  "Art can make a difference because it pulls people up short. It says, don’t accept things for their face value; you don’t have to go along with any of this; you can think for yourself."

 I think that is the real message here. 


 

Daring To Be Vulnerable

Vulnerabilty, Mixed media collage, 11"x14"

 

 

"To be alive is to be vulnerable."

- Madeleine L’Engle

 

"No matter what gets done and how much

is left undone, I am enough…Yes,

I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but

 that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave

and worthy of love and belonging."

- Brené Brown

 

To embrace our vulnerability is the ultimate "daring greatly."

Bridges, Bridges, and More Bridges

Okay. I admit it. I have a thing for bridges, any kind of bridges—old bridges, railroad bridges, suspension bridges, covered bridges…. I love the architecture, I love the symbolism, I love the designs...you name it. Maybe it's the thought of connecting that appeals to me so much. Bridges are for connecting places, things and people, especially people. Connections. Relationships. Form and function beautifully displayed. Sigh. I do so love bridges. So, I thought I would share some of my bridge photos with you all. Hope you enjoy.

Red Wolf Crossing, Clarkston, WA - I think this bridge is beautiful!

Train Bridge, Lewiston, ID

Southway Bridge on ramp, Lewiston, ID

"New" bridge into Kooskia, ID from Kamiah

Southway Bridge

Southway Bridge

The Blue Bridge connecting Lewiston, ID with Clarkston, WA

Southway

Entering Lewiston from Moscow-Pullman or Orofino

Train Bridge on the prairie between Grangeville and Lewiston

Daring Greatly

 

 

It is not the critic who counts; not the

man who points out how the strong man

stumbles, or where the doer of deeds

could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually

in the arena, whose face is marred by dust

and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly . . .

who at the best knows in the end the triumph

of high achievement, and who at the worst,

if he fails, at least fails

daring greatly.

 

-Theodore Roosevelt

I found this quote on the inside front flap of Dr. Brené Brown's book, "Daring Greatly".  It became the inspiration for this artwork. The black and white photo I literally picked up a year ago when I found it laying in the middle of the street when I was out walking my dog. I couldn't throw it back down. I brought it home and stuffed it away in my file, knowing that at some point I could use it in my art. Ta da! Today was the day! I think it fits the quote beautifully. It also happens to be what I feel I'm doing in putting my artwork out here for all to see—daring greatly.

I think that's what every artist does. I also believe everyone is an 'artist'. They may not paint or sing or play music or dance. Instead, they are housewives and office workers and parents and cooks and poets and janitors...(put in here whatever work it is that you do). Living life is an art no matter what we do for a living. We can all live life with passion and a spirit of excellence in everything that we do. And, hopefully, at the end of our days, we can say that we truly lived our life 'daring greatly.'

What is A Face, Really?

What is A Face, Really?
8-7/8" x 11-1/2" Mixed Media Collage

This collage is based on a quote by Barbz Lewinsky:

 

What is a face, really?

Its own photo?

Its own make-up?

Or is it a face as painted by such or such a painter?

That which is front?

Inside? Behind?

And the rest?

Doesn't everyone look at himself in his own particular way?

Deformations simply do not exist.

 

You can find the original quote with an interesting photo at https://www.facebook.com/InspirationalPortraits which site I became acquainted with through Patricia Allingham Carlson's site. Both sites are well worth your visit.

I had recently joined Jennibellie's Monthly Challenge, the first of which had to do with a monochromatic black and white theme to which you could add one or two accent colors. This was my interpretation of that challenge. The quote just seemed to fit the black and white theme.

I Am The Road Map

This project came about because of an art challenge I am a part of. The challenge was to create a vision board for the creative aspects of my life. This was my version which I have titled "I Am The Road Map".

I thought I would walk through the process for anyone who is interested in collage.

I started with a 24" x 30" canvas board. After tearing up brown paper grocery bags into assorted sizes, I used a mixture of half white glue and about half water. It helps to wrinkle up your paper before you apply it to the canvas board in order to get better texture.

With the right colors applied after drying you can make this look just like leather. I love this texture. I applied several shades of orange, followed by transparent washes of burnt umber and burnt sienna, building up layers of color.

 

I cut the shape of a woman out of an old map and pasted her on, adding a face and sunglasses.

I then cut the shapes of puzzle pieces out of various pics, gluing them together. The moon in the upper left corner and the heart shape came from some used coffee filters that I had painted during a day of experimenting. I then added the phrasing and there you have it.

 

 

Hope you like it.

Susan

 

Lessons in Nature

What wonderful lessons are available to us in nature if we would only look and see.

The lesson I see here:

In adversity greater numbers are better, providing companionship, warmth, and courage to make it through. Kind of describes life in general, doesn't it?

24 swallows huddling together to survive the harsh winter weather.
Photographer Keith Williams, spotted the scene while out walking his dog on a trail beside the Yukon River in Canada.

Bullfights and Forks

 According to Dr. Susan Weinschenk's The Brain Lady Newsletter, at the latest Consumer Electronics show there was recently introduced a device called the HAPI fork (pronounced 'happy'). This fork vibrates when you eat too fast and has an app that keeps track of your eating habits, allowing you to become aware of what you are doing so you can then modify your behavior accordingly.

Excuse me! Truth is I can see how it could be a behavior modification tool, but, really, my first response to this 'fork' was more of the 'you've got to be kidding' variety. Are we so dysfunctional that we need to make an electronic fork that tells us how fast or slow to eat? Does anyone else think there's something wrong with this picture?

Life is changing so rapidly and not necessarily for the better. Part of me just wants to go hide out in the backwoods somewhere and get back to a life of simplicity. Or at least move in that direction. Simplify! Simplify! Simplify! That is my heart's cry. I want out of the rat race. I don't like where it seems to be heading and I don't know what, if anything, I can do about it. Which for me brings me back to the question of what's the purpose and meaning in life? Specifically, what's my purpose and meaning in life?

There are those who would have you believe that there is no purpose or meaning to life, that we just happened to evolve out of nothingness. Sorry, but I don't have enough faith to believe something that seems so preposterous. Life and the universe cannot possibly be a result of random chance. That's actually the easiest part to figure out about all of this. After that things seem to get extremely complicated, or should I say complex. It's all about one's chosen point of view.

If life is viewed as an unsolvable series of complications, it's easy to slip into a victim mentality. Been there, done that as the saying goes. This point of view tends to keep you mired in apathy and disappointment, or, it makes you like a bull in a bull fight, constantly getting ran through with swords until the pain drives you crazy, raging mad and you try to kill everything in sight. Not a pleasant place to be. Nor productive, for yourself or others.

But, if life is viewed as a thing of beautiful complexity, it's possible to see the wonder and feel the excitement of discovery, down which path there is enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for living that keeps you focused and moving forward, growing. Somewhere along that path you learn to let go of the concept of purpose except as it is defined by "being". "I AM" God told Moses. It is difficult for us mere mortals to "be", to understand that 'being' IS the purpose.

I wonder if Adam and Eve worried about their purpose? Somehow I doubt that.

Asking the Right Questions

I truly believe that one of the most important keys in life is learning to ask the right questions. When I run across one of those 'questions' somewhere, they are like a solid brick wall stopping me abruptly in my path. I had one of those experiences today on Facebook.

A picture posted by Sketches in Stillness posed the following question:

Do you consider yourself a problem to be fixed...Or can you allow yourself to be exactly as you are right now, in peace, without believing in your stressful thoughts?

This was one of those "seeing what you really believe about yourself" moments for me. I realized that is exactly how I see myself and this belief directs a large portion of my life.

So then, the question for me becomes where's the balance between recognizing that you need improvement in some area and pursuing that purposefully and diligently, and, pushing yourself to change to the point that the stress you cause yourself becomes harmful to you physically, mentally, and emotionally?

And how does that affect what you believe others think of you or how they 'see' you, thereby causing you to act in ways that may not be good for you or anyone else? In other words, if anyone sees theirself as broken and needing to be fixed, they usually automatically assume that others see them the same way. We tend to think that others think the same way we do, although experience often proves that assumption to be false. That's just one of those traits that all of humanity shares.

How far do I believe that I differ from 'normal' or 'average'? And where am I getting my definition of those terms?

Most of us don't really know what we believe deep down inside and would be hard-pressed to define those beliefs if we had to. More often than not, our actions don't line up with what we say we believe, for if they did, we wouldn't struggle so within ourselves. It wouldn't be so hard to change habits, most of which we don't even recognize as habits in the first place. Usually we just think 'that's the way I've always done it,' or 'that's the way I was taught', or that's how my parents did it.' Or we fool ourselves into thinking we do things the way we do because that's just what we want to do.

It's too much work, and often too fearful or painful, to face the person within. We're afraid we won't like the person within, and most times that really is the truth. Truly not liking yourself, or hating yourself, is the ultimate rejection, a very scary place to be.

I have knowingly been close enough to that place to know I don't want to go there again, which brings me back to the original question of whether I see myself as a problem to be fixed. Maybe the emotional impact of that experience is what has made that question so real to me. And that is not necessarily a negative thing.

Obviously, the answers to these questions will be unique for each person as we are all individuals with different experiences, etc. But I wonder how many others are so affected by this question? I'm sure I'll never know but that doesn't stop me from wondering. It's the philosophical part of my nature I think.

What is a question that has truly impacted your life? I would love to hear from you.

Abstraction and deeper meanings

Art Blossum Magazine recently posted on Facebook some pics of the works of Constantin Brancusi, a Romanian sculptor who "was a central figure of the modern movement and a pioneer of abstraction." I've always liked Brancusi's work but when I looked at the pictures of his art this time, I was suddenly struck with the thought that his work could have been a political statement of sorts and I wondered if that were true.

Constantin Brancusi, Danaid , 1913, Bronze, National Museum of Modern Art

I only did a cursory search on him so I have no idea if he had a political bent or not, however, I was interested in my own sudden ability to see the possibility of his art being a reaction to, or possibly a precursor to a growing cultural mindset of detachment from humanity, such that is echoed not only in abstract art, but in current rising violent crime rates, a high divorce rate, a huge generation gap, and families who are, more often than not, distant, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Was abstract art really a reaction to and/or statement about weakening human relationships? I recognize that at the technical level abstraction is seen as a method of simplifying down to the most basic components of something in order to experience the beauty of the parts, colors,or form, the expression of a feeling. I get that. But I believe that everyone and everything is interconnected on an affective level. It's that old cliche 'no man is an island' thing. I have come to believe that what I do and say today, determines my future tomorrow. If that is true now, it has always been true. I just didn't recognize it as such. That means that what I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the year before that, has affected my today.

Expressions and methods of creativity, in any field of endeavor in this world, are not only affected by previous or simultaneous acts and thought, but also affect current and future endeavors and thought in a continuous never ending line or circle. Think drops of water whose rings continually radiate out connecting with other rings and being changed in the process. How wonderful a thing that can be! I know. Who thought that after that rather dismal statement in paragraph two that this article is in fact a positive celebration of life being lived to its fullest!

My art has always had deeper meanings hidden within it that I have not necessarily understood at the time of execution. I would discover after the fact a depth I didn't even know was there. It just seemed to be in there, waiting for me to put it on paper or canvas. I have finally come to that place in my life where I at least somewhat understand that urge and have begun to direct it more purposefully and intentionally. And I love it. The writing of this blog is merely an extension of that creative process for me. I am almost in my sixth decade and my life has never held so much joy or promise in so many ways. I am truly a blessed woman.

To live deliberately

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.—Henry David Thoreau

"Civilized" life is so distracting, and the majority of us live reactive lives, merely responding to our environment and the rules and demands of others, rather than living our lives out of our own deliberate choices. That is what Thoreau was talking about here—living life deliberately, which is hard to do when you are so thoroughly distracted that all you can do is react.

I wonder if he is still in the reading curriculum in schools today. I think not.

A friend recently sent me a link to a video that has made a huge impact on my life. It has brought together so much of the information that I've already heard or known, yet didn't have a clue what to do with. This video presents a path to possible solutions. More importantly, it presents real hope.

My hope is that you will take the time to watch the video. It is two hours long, so you'll need to set aside some time, but it is well worth it. It seemed to me that Thoreau's quotes above and below are so appropo to what is talked about in the movie.

Synopsis of the movie:  THRIVE is an unconventional documentary that lifts the veil on what's REALLY going on in our world by following the money upstream -- uncovering the global consolidation of power in nearly every aspect of our lives. Weaving together breakthroughs in science, consciousness and activism, THRIVE offers real solutions, empowering us with unprecedented and bold strategies for reclaiming our lives and our future.


As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.

Our life is frittered away by detail ... simplify, simplify.

Be not simply good; be good for something.

There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes the greater part of his life getting his living.

I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business.

You can read more quotes by Thoreau and others at BrainyQuotes.com

A Different Time or Place

 

Part of the reason for doing this blog was to have a place to showcase my art work as well as be able to philosophize. Actually, I love to do both, and combining them makes me very happy. Hence, the artwork with a message. Hopefully, it will touch your heart as well. If I can get even one person to stop and think just for a moment, I will have accomplished something. That works for me.

For the philosophy part:

I can honestly say that I spent a rather large portion of my life wishing things were different or that I was different, not realizing that I was foolishing spending way too much time living inside my head or inside books.Same thing. It was all escapism. Nowadays people seem to prefer tv, computer or video games. The ills that plague the human race run bone deep. I'm not being pessimistic here, just realistic. In order to successfully deal with a problem one must recognize and acknowledge it first, don't you think? I had to recognize my thoughts and behavior before I could change any of it. Of course, this is a life long process. A journey. I love adventures! Don't you?

A bit about the technique for the art piece:

The background for this picture was an experiment on regular tissue paper. I first somewhat haphazardly spread some gesso on the tissue paper and let it dry. I sprayed several colors of alcohol inks using some stencils/masks to add some interest and added some more gesso on top of that. The circles were done on coffee filters using sharpie pens and alcohol and then both spraying and dripping alcohol inks on. I dried the filters in between layers.

I then took pictures of them, manipulating them in Gimp on the computer, and finally putting them together in Publisher. The quote was one I found on Facebook.

I plan to use the actual tissue paper in collages on canvas so I'm getting more than double duty out of all of the pieces I'm painting. Much of my inspiration of late has come from videos from YouTube. I subscribe to a number of channels. I've learned a lot there. It's fun to try out new techniques. I will share some of my favorites from time to time. Today I want to share Jennibellie's channel. Jenny has videos on lots of different techniques that anyone can do. She also as a +blog you can find here. She interviews different artists about once a month which are very interesting.

Advice to a child

Musings in Wonderland Magazine,  recently shared this question:  If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your self as a creative child? Part of this I shared with them but it got me to thinking and so I expanded it a bit and decided to include it here.

Knowing what I know today, these are the things I wish someone had told me during my childhood.

Face your fears. Don't run from them. They are not nearly as scary as you think they are. Accept that pain comes in everyone's life, then let it go. The pain only lasts for a little bit then it goes away.

Forgive yourself first. Love yourself first. You have infinite value and worth just because you are you. Believe it. Then act on it.

Don't give up on your dream. You can make good choices. Just do it. It's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does. Just learn from them and move on. It doesn't make you less of a person. You don't believe other people are stupid because they make mistakes. Neither are you stupid because you make mistakes.

Use your brain. Be aware of your thoughts. Monitor them. Control them. You are the only one who can control your thoughts. Choose your thoughts like you'd choose what to wear for a special event. What you think really does matter. Believe it.

Balance the time you spend thinking about yourself with the time you spend thinking about others. You do not live on this planet by yourself. Everything you think, do and say affects others way beyond what you can know or understand. Look for ways to be of service to other people. Helping others makes them and you feel good about yourselves.

Follow your passion. Protect it. Nurture it. Work at being enthusiastic about your passon and don't let others squash it. Find people to be around who encourage you. You are building your future with what you do today.

And most of all, remember that life is a journey to be lived one day at a time. Enjoy today as best you can for that is what you have to work with. It is enough.

If you will read this everyday, seriously thinking about it until it becomes part of your thinking, it will help guide you on your life journey.

What would be your answer to that question? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.