Raw Art - Portrait of Reality?

I was working on something this morning and took a short break to go out and have a smoke. (I had quit and recently picked it back up so now I have to start all over. grrrrr) As I was apparently mindlessly sitting there, I suddenly realized I was singing a tune in my head. It took singing it out loud about three times before I caught on to what I was actually singing and to what tune. I was trying to remember the real phrase that went with the tune in my head from the song "Enjoy Yourself". (I  had to look it up first. Turns out the only thing I remembered accurately was the tune. The song actually is about suicide.) Instead of the correct wording 'Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think," I was singing: destroy yourself, destroy yourself, destroy yourself with me".

I was somewhat aghast at what I heard coming so nonchalantly and unthinkingly out of my mouth. Nothing happens by accident, so I started asking myself 'why'? I'm struggling with the whole smoking thing, totally disgusted with myself. I believe that was what was behind the little ditty I was singing. With recognition of that, the ideas for some pieces of art came streaming through my mind. I had to run inside to the computer and get to work. I wanted to make something to stick up on my wall to remind me why I want to quit smoking. I eventually came up with at least three decent designs out of it that I thought were also appropriate for this time of year. The content is pretty raw but that happens to be how I've been feeling. Raw art is almost always what I'm drawn to and what I hang on my walls to constantly look at. My artwork is usually an expression of some inner battle I'm fighting, a commentary I need to listen to and remember, and, therefore, I 'label' myself as an expressionist.

Art is great therapy. In fact I can look over the artwork I have done over the past three to four years especially, and see where I was then, where I am now, how much I've changed, how I changed, and where I'm heading.  That's a lot to get from somewhat haphazardly throwing stuff on to a page I think. While I can draw fairly well, I find it takes too long, so I tend to go for things like collage and mixed media which I can throw together more quickly. Once the piece is 'done', or at least acceptably balanced to me, I can go back and disect what I'm saying or trying to say to myself. So far that process has been working well for me.

The amazing thing is that I can look back on different pieces years later and get something entirely new out of it that my subconscious apparently knew at the time, but my conscious self certainly didn't. As I grow in knowledge, experience and understanding in various areas of my life, my interpretations of previous works seem to take on greater depth. I love this about art. And its why I often encourage others to start an art journal. It's not about making 'perfect' art. It's about putting down your feelings on paper as a record of your life at that time. You can learn amazing things about yourself through this kind of process. It's works for journal writing, too. And you don't have to show any of it to anyone you don't want to.

It taught me to trust myself in ways beyond my understanding at that time. This is extremely important in a culture that runs mostly in the shallows of life, doing everything it can to help us avoid thinking too much, or feeling too much. Humanity as a whole seems to prefer running and hiding from anything painful or distasteful to them by running after the impossible dreams dangled in front of our faces by media/advertising, etc. I believe that accounts for a large portion of the 'need' for psychiatrists/psychologists/life coaches, etc., and for medication for a host of psychological issues that never used to even exist but now have labels. I digress. I'll save that for another post.

I think that these digital memes will be the base for a poster size mixed media collage for my wall.

I hope that you find this art thought provoking and worthy as a conversation starter. Thoughtful and kindly written constructive criticism or differing opinions are always welcome in the comments below. Until next time....

My Ugly Little Secret Exposed By an Ad in an Outdated Magazine!

I drew this guy a number of years ago. Turns out
he is a personal archetype since his expression
fits a number of different emotions and I have
used him repeatedly in various artworks. He's taught
me a lot about myself and the human condition over
 the years. The original was a charcoal drawing
which I used in a mixed media collage.

I was at my eye doctor appointment. The assistant had just put those numbing eye drops in my eyes and I had 10 minutes to do something with, so I grabbed a three year old magazine to look through to occupy my waiting time. As I was thumbing through the pages I ran across an ad for what looked to be a reading app for e-readers. I don't remember the exact lead line except that it had to do with binge reading becoming the new thing. It made me laugh. And then, the light bulb flashed on in my mind!

I recognized that I am a binge reader and have been for many years. In fact, I am currently on a reading binge—just finished re-reading Clan of the Cave Bear and am halfway through The Valley of Horses, both by Jean M. Auel. I have known that I often read as a form of escapism, but when did it become bingeing?

Looking back over the years I recognized that I have had these reading binges scattered throughout my life. Escapism is something we all do from time to time and has some very positive connotations, however, when it becomes something that is difficult to control and interferes with taking care of normal everyday functions that we all need to carry out, then something is out of balance. On some level I had already recognized this imbalance that was exacerbated by depression from a long winter, but had not put the pieces of the puzzle together. Putting the label of 'bingeing' on my out-of-control reading habits suddenly catapulted me into a whole different perspective. I discovered that over the years I have taken occasional escapist reading and turned it into binge reading that feeds the procrastination I frequently fall into. Ouch!

The truth be told, I have been bingeing in different areas all through my life, not recognizing that bingeing applies to so much more than just food. I binge when doing art or writing, sometimes when consuming alcohol or smoking cigarettes, when dieting or exercising, and even when cleaning or rearranging the house. OMG! Who knew?! Where does escapism or even passion and enthusiam for something turn into bingeing? Yikes!

Is spring cleaning a form of bingeing? Is gardening? Or lawn manicuring? Or any other hobby? Can you binge on religion, family, work, pleasure? And what about thinking? Is it possible to binge think? Is that what "overthinking" is? Can abstinence also become a binge thing? When and how did all of this bingeing take over my life? How did I get so out of control? And just as important, what do I now do with this unwanted information?

I like reading and art and writing and spring cleaning. I study everything from anthropology to applied psychology and neuro-psychology to cell biology (thanks to my tenth grade biology teacher, Mr. Wilson, by the way) to quantum physics. I'm interested in emotional intelligence, culture and sociology, suffering, and the cyclic nature of life along with all that escapist reading I do. That's only a partial interest list. I have a real 'liberal arts' mentality when it comes to learning, which is my true life's passion. I am so glad that anything and everything falls into the purview of the school of life. Curiosity and creativity are divine gifts no matter what area we apply them to.

Maybe the answer to all of this, if there is one, is finding and pursuing balance in all things, which I find is often easier said than done. It helps to remember that life is highly complex and, despite all our advanced knowledge, it is still a mystery, and don't we all love a good mystery? Life really is a journey made up of a plethora of processes, where balance is a fluid thing by nature and necessity, and there is a time and season for everything under the sun. It also helps to realize that life isn't all about the answers. As often as not, life is about the questions. Did you know that doing a search on questions at Amazon brings up 101 pages of books on the subject of questions? That's a lot of books! How in the world will I ever find the time?

Pendulums swing widely at first on their journey to balance, affected by outside influences, many over which we have little to no control. We are the pendulum in our lives always coming back to a state of equilibrium, at least that's my understanding of physics at its most basic level. Everything is energy which is neither created nor destroyed, merely changing form like water going from solid to liquid to gaseous depending upon outside circumstances.

In writing this article, I hope I have caused you to be aware of and spend some of your precious time exploring the mystery of bingeing, of how it does or doesn't apply to you. Maybe, having experienced it myself and sharing my current understanding with you, I can justify all that bingeing I've been doing over the years, putting a more positive spin on it, turning my negative into a positive. I believe that is called making the best of something, but it could just be rationalizing....

 Either way, it is all going to be okay in the end. I truly believe that.

Phew!! I really needed to hear that. Maybe you did, too.

Feel free to comment below.

Bridges, Bridges, and More Bridges

Okay. I admit it. I have a thing for bridges, any kind of bridges—old bridges, railroad bridges, suspension bridges, covered bridges…. I love the architecture, I love the symbolism, I love the designs...you name it. Maybe it's the thought of connecting that appeals to me so much. Bridges are for connecting places, things and people, especially people. Connections. Relationships. Form and function beautifully displayed. Sigh. I do so love bridges. So, I thought I would share some of my bridge photos with you all. Hope you enjoy.

Red Wolf Crossing, Clarkston, WA - I think this bridge is beautiful!

Train Bridge, Lewiston, ID

Southway Bridge on ramp, Lewiston, ID

"New" bridge into Kooskia, ID from Kamiah

Southway Bridge

Southway Bridge

The Blue Bridge connecting Lewiston, ID with Clarkston, WA

Southway

Entering Lewiston from Moscow-Pullman or Orofino

Train Bridge on the prairie between Grangeville and Lewiston

Daring Greatly

 

 

It is not the critic who counts; not the

man who points out how the strong man

stumbles, or where the doer of deeds

could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually

in the arena, whose face is marred by dust

and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly . . .

who at the best knows in the end the triumph

of high achievement, and who at the worst,

if he fails, at least fails

daring greatly.

 

-Theodore Roosevelt

I found this quote on the inside front flap of Dr. Brené Brown's book, "Daring Greatly".  It became the inspiration for this artwork. The black and white photo I literally picked up a year ago when I found it laying in the middle of the street when I was out walking my dog. I couldn't throw it back down. I brought it home and stuffed it away in my file, knowing that at some point I could use it in my art. Ta da! Today was the day! I think it fits the quote beautifully. It also happens to be what I feel I'm doing in putting my artwork out here for all to see—daring greatly.

I think that's what every artist does. I also believe everyone is an 'artist'. They may not paint or sing or play music or dance. Instead, they are housewives and office workers and parents and cooks and poets and janitors...(put in here whatever work it is that you do). Living life is an art no matter what we do for a living. We can all live life with passion and a spirit of excellence in everything that we do. And, hopefully, at the end of our days, we can say that we truly lived our life 'daring greatly.'

I Am The Road Map

This project came about because of an art challenge I am a part of. The challenge was to create a vision board for the creative aspects of my life. This was my version which I have titled "I Am The Road Map".

I thought I would walk through the process for anyone who is interested in collage.

I started with a 24" x 30" canvas board. After tearing up brown paper grocery bags into assorted sizes, I used a mixture of half white glue and about half water. It helps to wrinkle up your paper before you apply it to the canvas board in order to get better texture.

With the right colors applied after drying you can make this look just like leather. I love this texture. I applied several shades of orange, followed by transparent washes of burnt umber and burnt sienna, building up layers of color.

 

I cut the shape of a woman out of an old map and pasted her on, adding a face and sunglasses.

I then cut the shapes of puzzle pieces out of various pics, gluing them together. The moon in the upper left corner and the heart shape came from some used coffee filters that I had painted during a day of experimenting. I then added the phrasing and there you have it.

 

 

Hope you like it.

Susan

 

A Different Time or Place

 

Part of the reason for doing this blog was to have a place to showcase my art work as well as be able to philosophize. Actually, I love to do both, and combining them makes me very happy. Hence, the artwork with a message. Hopefully, it will touch your heart as well. If I can get even one person to stop and think just for a moment, I will have accomplished something. That works for me.

For the philosophy part:

I can honestly say that I spent a rather large portion of my life wishing things were different or that I was different, not realizing that I was foolishing spending way too much time living inside my head or inside books.Same thing. It was all escapism. Nowadays people seem to prefer tv, computer or video games. The ills that plague the human race run bone deep. I'm not being pessimistic here, just realistic. In order to successfully deal with a problem one must recognize and acknowledge it first, don't you think? I had to recognize my thoughts and behavior before I could change any of it. Of course, this is a life long process. A journey. I love adventures! Don't you?

A bit about the technique for the art piece:

The background for this picture was an experiment on regular tissue paper. I first somewhat haphazardly spread some gesso on the tissue paper and let it dry. I sprayed several colors of alcohol inks using some stencils/masks to add some interest and added some more gesso on top of that. The circles were done on coffee filters using sharpie pens and alcohol and then both spraying and dripping alcohol inks on. I dried the filters in between layers.

I then took pictures of them, manipulating them in Gimp on the computer, and finally putting them together in Publisher. The quote was one I found on Facebook.

I plan to use the actual tissue paper in collages on canvas so I'm getting more than double duty out of all of the pieces I'm painting. Much of my inspiration of late has come from videos from YouTube. I subscribe to a number of channels. I've learned a lot there. It's fun to try out new techniques. I will share some of my favorites from time to time. Today I want to share Jennibellie's channel. Jenny has videos on lots of different techniques that anyone can do. She also as a +blog you can find here. She interviews different artists about once a month which are very interesting.

Advice to a child

Musings in Wonderland Magazine,  recently shared this question:  If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your self as a creative child? Part of this I shared with them but it got me to thinking and so I expanded it a bit and decided to include it here.

Knowing what I know today, these are the things I wish someone had told me during my childhood.

Face your fears. Don't run from them. They are not nearly as scary as you think they are. Accept that pain comes in everyone's life, then let it go. The pain only lasts for a little bit then it goes away.

Forgive yourself first. Love yourself first. You have infinite value and worth just because you are you. Believe it. Then act on it.

Don't give up on your dream. You can make good choices. Just do it. It's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does. Just learn from them and move on. It doesn't make you less of a person. You don't believe other people are stupid because they make mistakes. Neither are you stupid because you make mistakes.

Use your brain. Be aware of your thoughts. Monitor them. Control them. You are the only one who can control your thoughts. Choose your thoughts like you'd choose what to wear for a special event. What you think really does matter. Believe it.

Balance the time you spend thinking about yourself with the time you spend thinking about others. You do not live on this planet by yourself. Everything you think, do and say affects others way beyond what you can know or understand. Look for ways to be of service to other people. Helping others makes them and you feel good about yourselves.

Follow your passion. Protect it. Nurture it. Work at being enthusiastic about your passon and don't let others squash it. Find people to be around who encourage you. You are building your future with what you do today.

And most of all, remember that life is a journey to be lived one day at a time. Enjoy today as best you can for that is what you have to work with. It is enough.

If you will read this everyday, seriously thinking about it until it becomes part of your thinking, it will help guide you on your life journey.

What would be your answer to that question? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.